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Men’s Rights and Child Custody: The Narcissist’s Checkmate


Sexism is a problem that cannot be ignored so long as people use the government to oppress individuals of a specific gender. Men’s Rights Activists and Extreme Feminists are influencing law makers to make laws to protect their sex while abhorring the other. While sexists use the state to pin one sex against another, their actions are harming children and making it easier for children to become property of the state.

Most feminists just want equality, but there are men-hating extremists that think women should have more rights than men. Extreme Feminists are well known, but their male counterparts, The Men’s Rights Movement, is little known. The Men’s Rights Movement is primarily composed of men who call themselves Men’s Rights Activists (MRA’s) or Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW). MRA’s are as hateful toward women as extreme feminists are toward men, and they influencing political policy for the worse.

MRA’s bush off talk of female abuse as “feminist talk” instead of caring that women are so regularly raped that almost every woman they know has probably experienced. MRA’s claim that women are more abusive than men even though women are more likely to be abused since they are physically smaller and weaker and because they will withstand abuse if they think it will protect their children. They also claim that men are oppressed.

MRA’s can be seen on social media stating that women are resource hogs that only care for a man in order to take his resources even though the norm is for both men and women to share expenses (often with women paying more than half or all  of household expenses). Some MRA’s claim that women are incapable of feeling love and experiencing a broken-heart, and therefore, they have pledged to never love a woman.

It would be one thing if MRA’s were merely the balance to Extreme Feminists or the voice that opposes male gender roles. They would be worth supporting if they brought awareness to the fact that many girls were raised by their fathers to find the “successful guy” and the guy who will “provide,” and that this upbringing has done harm to BOTH men and women. But, the MRA’s are not a constructive pendulum swinging back to sanity; they are extremists who are influencing laws that are harming children under the guise of “Father’s Rights”

The Men’s Right Movement has allowed control freaks and abusive narcissists to use government to hurt a woman via harming her child. In the past, some women have used the system to fleece men who want to be good fathers, but men no longer have the underhand when it comes to parental rights. In the current system, more than half of custody cases are won by the father, and visitations are granted to men who are known rapists and abusers.

Because of current laws, many women stay in abusive relationships for fear that the father will gain custody or visitations. Women believe they can better protect their children from the abusive father if they stay, even though they hate that the children witness the abuse. Mothers worry that the state will take custody of their children upon reporting domestic abuse or upon checking into a women’s shelter. Informed parents know that getting their child in the system almost guarantees that the child will experience worse abuse.

The influence Men’s Right’s has had upon family court have made it likely for a mother to lose custody to either the father or the state. The system takes children from mothers if the mother cannot “adequate” housing (and keeps the mother from the child(ren) even after she has met their demands), if she has to leave her child to go to work, or if she appears that she is trying to interfere with an abusive father seeing her child. To add insult to injury, mothers are blamed for any negative outcome that the child experiences, even when their parenting is controlled by their ex and the state.

Some MRA’s are especially hard on single moms as raising a child takes resources and single mothers rarely have the ability to obtain resources while raising their child. Hypocritically, many MRAs support adoption agencies which use up more resources than single mothers. As adoption proponents are eager to separate a mother and child, they fail to disclose the horrid existence that children have as property of the state.

MRA’s claim that they are fighting against Extreme Feminists, but government-lobbying feminists aren’t seeking maternal rights. Feminists are not helping the welfare of women during pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood, and they are not helping mothers keep their children while escaping abuse. Feminists have fought for women to enter the work place, and it is the very careers that they have fought for that are being used to take custody from mothers. Feminists do not fight where women need it most—motherhood.

Government laws and regulations are always “one-size-fits-all,” and cannot adequately meet the child’s best interest. The government’s early interventions made it so deserving and dedicated fathers rarely got to see their children even if they were paying child support. Recent interventions have allowed abusive parents and narcissists to obtain shared or full custody of their children.

In court, a case between a mother and a father is he-said, she-said, and one parent who speaks out against the other can be viewed as “uncooperative” even when they are trying to protect their child from abuse. Even shared custody, or 50/50 parenting, is bad because some parents seek shared custody for selfish reasons such as to avoid paying child support, to control or seek revenge on the other parent, or to protect their self-image or social status. Furthermore, in 50/50 parenting, the child is continuously bounced around with their lives revolving around meeting the demands of visitations.

There is no way that the government can judge which parent is best, and the family court system cannot be fixed since one parent is likely to lie about the other. As long as the system exists, abusers and extremists will use it as a weapon to seek revenge against a loving parent while using their children as leverage.

So long as the system exists, women need to fight for their rights to be mothers.  Women should be allowed to go to a women’s shelter or other haven to protect themselves and their children from abuse without Child Protective Services (CPS) taking their children for doing so. A single parent should not have to uphold unrealistic, no-win expectations of affording a large home that gives each child their own room while also being expected to stay home with their child.

The government cannot fix inequality, so it is up to society to do so. Extreme Feminists and MRA’s who do not respect another genders property, bodies, beings and biological roles (NOT gender roles) need to be called out and shamed. Both sexes need to unite together to ensure that children are respected because when children are respected, they grow to respect others and to not tolerate disrespect. Parents need to work together to get the government out of the lives of families since the government does not respect children’s rights and cannot do what is best for the child.